“Travia’s blessing, dear guests! Come in, you won’t find cleaner beds anywhere! Tell me how I can be of service!”
The innkeeper beams at you. “Ah, guests! And such highborn travelers, too! Do come in and honor my humble abode! How can I cater to your comfort?”
You have to wait at the counter for some time, until the innkeeper lifts his head. “Yes?”
“You look worn and weary,” the innkeeper notes. “Have a refreshment and let me know how I can be of service.”
“This place is clean? Doesn’t look that way to me.”
“Now what could we want from you, you old fool?”
“We must be the first customers for weeks!”
“I’m wondering what we want here!”
“Is this the best you’ve got?!”
“An innkeeper either talks a lot or works a lot.”
“A liquid welcome wouldn’t go amiss.”
“Yes, well. Looks barely acceptable.”
“May Travia keep you, innkeeper!”
“You are running a first class establishment here!”
“The gods be with you, my friend.”
“Yes, this looks very inviting.”
“Are you trying to insult me?”
“Excuse me?”
“Travia’s fury strike those who dare to squander the holy gift of hospitality!”
“I do hope I’ve misunderstood what you just said!”
“You’re not too bright, are you?”
“Are all innkeepers around here Hesinde forsaken?”
“Don’t tell me anything could be an insult to you?”
“Aren’t we easily offended?”
“You need to learn to relax a little!”
“Just a little joke, my good man, no more.”
“Forget the whole thing.”
“Please forgive this misunderstanding.”
“We do beg your pardon, please forgive us.”
“Do forgive us, the trip has taken its toll.”
“Forgive us, sir. It won’t happen again.”
“We had not intended to offend you.”
“Whatever you say. The customer is always right.”
“You seem to enjoy tormenting an old man.”
“So, you’re pulling my leg, are you. All right, if you want to… the customer is always right.”
“My, what an odd lot you are.”
“You think he really gets our jokes?”
“Hm, this simpleton thinks he’s smart.”
“I bet he’s a cleric of Hesinde’s on the sly.”
“You really think he’s the mayor of this place?”
“We’d never get on the wrong side of an innkeeper.”
“Do we look like we’d enjoy pulling people’s legs?”
“Besides swords, jokes are our finest weapons.”
“I thought you could take it as well as you give.”
“You know your business. We’re o.k. Here.”
“Travia has a worthy servant in you.”
“Good answer. You know how to run a place.”
“How splendid to meet someone like yourself!”
“Thank you very much, honorable travelers. My house is yours.”
“Your words honor me. The goddess helps me keep her sacred laws at all times.”
“You do too much honor to a simple innkeeper.”
“I am glad you like it here.”
“Well, it isn’t that great.”
“No need to worship the ground we walk on.”
“Who ever said anything about “Liking” this dump?”
“How grateful he is even for small compliments!”
“You shouldn’t overdo it just because we do.”
“Oh dear, now he’s getting ideas.”
“We seem to have overdone it.”
“How easy it is to amuse some people!”
“Oh no, the pleasure is all ours.”
“It is we who have reason to feel flattered.”
“You really know how to make one feel at home.”
“We’re certainly going to be comfortable here.”
“You overestimate my patience by far!”
“Watch it!”
“One more wisecrack like that and I’ll have you thrown out into the street!”
“You seem to think you’re invulnerable. I’d be delighted to prove you wrong.”
“Give it a try, you worthless idiot!”
“We devour your kind for breakfast!”
“How about we ventilate your guts?”
“Don’t hit him on the head. That’s solid rock.”
“Ooh! Do you think he’s angry now?”
“Do you think we have made him mad?”
“Gods! What a prickly pear this guy is!”
“Why are you yelling like that?”
“Come on, let’s just forget about it.”
“We didn’t intend to cause offense. Forgive us.”
“Please forgive us if you find it in your heart.”
“A thousand pardons. Please accept our apologies.”
“Do you want a room or don’t you?”
“You don’t behave as if any of us could have cause to enjoy your stay.”
“I doubt you are looking for a fight. But you don’t give the impression of being after courteous treatment either.”
“You don’t seem to know yourselves just what it is you want.”
“Somehow your making my pals see red!”
“Who could stay polite when he has to face you?”
“Listening to you, I get the urge to commit murder!”
“Why did we have to meet a cretin like you?”
“I wish we knew.”
“We don’t want trouble, do we? Do we…?”
“No! I’ve had enough of senseless fighting!”
“Let’s try to be polite for a change.”
“We’re not looking for a fight, honest!”
“Please let’s forget the argument ever happened.”
“Leave it be, my man. No offense intended.”
“We didn’t intend to provoke you.”
“So, let’s get down to it.”
“Well then, what can I do for you?”
“So, how did you say I could be of service?”
“Your wishes?”
“That stupid question again!”
“You’re starting to get on my nerves!”
“Hesinde, enlighten this poor soul!”
“Why does he ask that? Why does he ask that?”
“Same as always.”
“A shave, without the talk.”
“Might this be an inn, with beds for rent?”
“Yes, what are our wishes?”
“If you could stop that for a moment and please tell me what you want?”
“I’m still at your service. Do you intend to use it?”
“A very warm welcome to you again, honored guests. Your wishes are?”
“If you’d be so kind as to tell me your desires again?”
“We should write it down for him, I suppose.”
“Let’s get this over with!”
“You are definitely getting on my nerves.”
“Gods! Not again!”
“All right then, you win.”
“Why the frosty voice? Did we offend?”
“How serious he can be! Smelling money, I’ll bet!”
“Please don’t look at us like that, sir!”
“I beg your pardon…”
“Right away. We didn’t mean to become too familiar.”
“Pardon, we’ve been in the outs for a long time.”
“Certainly. Please forgive us.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere. I’m glad to have guests like you.”
“You’re right to joke in Thorwal. You seem to be quite at home already.”
“I’m glad you feel so comfortable around here. Hopefully, you’ll return home with a good impression.”
“I’ll do my best to surpass your expectations.”
“Just doing our best to get by around here.”
“Pure self defense to avoid going crazy.”
“You think we’re behaving like this for your sake?”
“We don’t joke for you, we joke about you!”
“As long as you’re pleased.”
“We feel good if you do.”
“How nice to see so many happy faces.”
“How easy it is to please you.”
“We’ll have a lot of good things to say about you.”
“Life would be easier if everybody was like you.”
“I think we will be very comfortable here.”
“We’re feeling at home already.”
“That’s enough!” the innkeeper bellows and pulls a sabre from behind the counter…
“Gundar, Isleif, take care of these vagrants!”
two burly bouncers approach menacingly…
“Enough is enough!” the innkeeper growls and calls for his staff…
“You asked for it!” the innkeeper cries and attacks you, aided by two of his staff…
“Out!”
“Get lost! I never want to see you again!”
“Make tracks!”
“Beat it, before I get physical!”
“Now, before we get down to business.
did you know?
[HINT]”
“Maybe I should tell you something first.
[HINT]”
“By the way. You might be interested to know.
[HINT]”
“I like you! It might be helpful if you knew this.
[HINT]”
“What do you want here again! You better get out of here before I really lose my temper!”
“I told you before, you can sleep in the gutter for all I care!”
“Didn’t I make myself clear before? Get lost!”
“Being thrown out once wasn’t enough for you eh?! Out!”