You can hardly see a hand in front of your face in the mist and smoke. A bare-chested man with shoulders wide as a wardrobe and upper arms like tree trunks is hammering away at a piece of metal resembling a sword blade.
“What I can do for you folk?”
In the choking stink of glowing coal and hot iron ore, a man is working with a hammer that none of you could probably even lift. The smith is using it one-handed and doesn’t stop when he notices you, either.
“Ingerimm be with you.”
The rhythmic clanging of steel striking steel echoes through the dark room as you enter. The smith, a man who looks like a walking tree, dressed in a dark leather apron, throws a piece of metal into a bucket of water. Over the loud hissing you hear him say: “Swafnir be with you, strangers. How can I help you?”
The noise of the smithy makes your heads ache. But it abates when the man working here notices you. Without any undue haste, he puts his giant hammer down on a table and turns to you. “Yes?”
“This place reeks like a bear’s cage.”
“Only an animal could feel comfortable in here.”
“This is a real idiot’s job from what I can see.”
“And this strutting about is meant to be a trade?”
“Ingerimm be with you, man mountain.”
“Good grief, you’ve got some hammer there!”
“Truly a profession for men of the hardiest stock.”
“Now I understand why no one robs you.”
“The gods be with you, master of the furnace.”
“Ingerimm must look a lot like you.”
“What a man!”
“Amazing, how you do that.”
The man grins at you.
“No way, you idiots must be demented.” swinging his sledgehammer with one hand, he moves towards you.
“You seem to be looking for trouble. Well, you might be able to intimidate some measly little merchant, but not a smith.” he comes at you with his hammer.
“Not like that, you weenies, no way. And certainly not with me,” he says and swings his hammer.
“You’ve picked the wrong target this time,” the man mountain grins and tosses his sledgehammer from hand to hand like a child’s toy.
The man just grins and flexes his muscles.
Smiling, the smith stands in front of you, flexing his mighty muscles.
With an approving grin, the man poses in front of you.
A wolf’s grin spreads over the smith’s face, as he shows off in front of you.
“What a show off!”
“Yeah, well, quite nice. At most.”
“No comparison to my little sister.”
“Gods! Isn’t he cute?”
“Can you handle all that?”
“Is that just looks?”
“Are you a tradesman or a model?”
“Are those any good for working?”
“Wow!”
“If my dear old mother could see that!”
“This is incredible, master smith!”
“Imagine that!”
“Took a lot of work, folks!”
“If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”
“Well, not everybody’s born to be a smith.”
“Don’t get jealous, now. ‘course, you’d have every reason to be, but it doesn’t change anything, does it?”
“What’s so great about being a blacksmith anyway?”
“You mean this is actually considered a trade?”
“What, you’re proud of this slaving?”
“You mean, you like this stink?”
“Hey, each to his own.”
“At least you like it.”
“If you like it, that’s fine by us.”
“Takes all sorts, doesn’t it?”
“Quite true, master smith.”
“We should be content with our fate.”
“The gods give, the gods take away.”
“You really are to be envied.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What are you trying to say there?”
“I didn’t quite get that. What did you say?”
“Eh, what? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just as I thought, as dim as he’s wide.”
“Yeah well, I expected no less.”
“I’ve been afraid of something like this.”
“Gods! It’s worse than I feared.”
“Guess.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually.”
“Come now, it isn’t that difficult.”
“Why don’t you try and guess.”
“Oh, nothing, master smith.”
“What are getting at?”
“Beg pardon, we seem to have lost each other.”
“We don’t know what you’re talking about, my man.”
“These are all honest muscles from honest toil!”
“That’s what it looks like if you earn your bread through hard work!”
“You don’t seem to have had much contact with real work, or you’d know its results!”
“Real work takes real men, not some prancing actors!”
“Yeah well, but not too much brains, I take it.”
“Not that your mind gets too much exercise, right?”
“So you never had much luck with thinking, did you?”
“So who needs a brain, right?”
“While we’re on the subject of work…”
“Of course, work. That reminds me of something.”
“Now that you mention work…”
“Did you say work? That reminds me.”
“You are to be envied.”
“Yes, I can see you are in fine mettle.”
“May the gods preserve your strength.”
“This work seems to agree with you.”
“Isn’t that true? I can see you’re pale with envy!”
“Some of us have it, some of us don’t.”
“You see this? That’s how a working man should look.”
“Yeeaah sure, that’s what they all say.”
“Must be the tops for you peasants.”
“The simple pleasures of simple folk.”
“Isn’t it easy to impress dimwits, though.”
“Cattle pose just like that, too.”
“I’m sure you’re an important man around here.”
“You must be influential in these parts.”
“I’m sure people listen to you.”
“You are a well-known personality, then, aren’t you?”
“Breathtaking, just breathtaking.”
“I’m flabbergasted.”
“It sure is impressive!”
“Unbelievable.”
“I won’t have you insult my trade! Get out!”
“I don’t have to take that! Get lost!”
“You dare make fun of my trade? You’re not welcome here, then. Out!”
“I won’t have you ridicule my trade! Away with you!”
“I guess you’ll never understand.”
“This world will always be closed to folks like you.”
“Such homeless wanderers as you shall never know the satisfaction of good, honest toil.”
“You are to be pitied. Never will you know a luck like mine.”
“Praise the gods.”
“Phew! What a lucky escape.”
“And we’re not sorry about it either.”
“And here we were starting to get worried.”
“To each his own, master smith.”
“Live and let live is what I always say.”
“You’ve got your life, we’ve got ours.”
“There are many paths to happiness.”
“The gods put each of us in his or her place.”
“Not everyone can be as lucky as you.”
“Our path unfortunately is a different one.”
“We shall have to bear our fate.”
“It is virtuous to share with those who have less. I shall give you a special price. Now what can I do for you?”
“You are pitiful indeed, but if I can help ease your miserable lives, let me know. I’ll give you a special price to ease your pain.”
“Yes, you’re mighty poor souls all right, but I might be able to help you by setting a special low price. What do you need?”
“You poor sheep. Maybe I can lighten your burden by giving you a special price? What can I do for you?”
“So! You’re looking for trouble! Well, you found it!”
“That’s what you’re after, is it? Well, those who sow the wind shall reap the whirlwind, and my whirlwind attacks are infamous!”
“So that’s the way we’re going, is it? Well, I can make life mighty uncomfortable for you, if I put my mind to it.”
“So that’s it! Well, my hammer sounds much better on steel than on flesh, but in some situations musical considerations have to take a back seat!”
“All that aside, what do you want?”
“All right, we’ll forget about that. Why are you here?”
“Yes, well. Uhm. Good. Now, what’s this about?”
“I suppose you came here for a reason?”
“You understand nothing of the niceties of smith-work. You better leave, before I lose my patience.”
“You’re beyond hope. Better leave now.”
“I suppose there must be deprived folk like you, but not in my shop.”
“Let someone else mess about with you poor fools. Leave my shop, there is no room here for those who will not understand my art.”
“Of course, you didn’t come to chat, did you? What brings you here?”
“I suppose we all have work waiting. Let’s get down to business.”
“Yes, my trade. How can I let it serve you?”
“So, what brought you here? Beside my reputation for excellence.”
“You seem to think you can make a fool of me? Not on your life! You better make tracks, and fast!”
“Forget it. If you bunch of idiots want someone who works for you while being insulted, you better keep on looking. I sure as heck won’t.”
“You couldn’t pay me enough to lift a finger for ingrates like you. Why don’t you leave now!”
“I should have listened to my instincts from the start and kicked you out right away! Well, better late than never.”
“All right then, we’ll talk business.”
“What do you want?”
“What can I do for you, strangers?”
“Could we stop wasting time now, please? What do you want?”
“I guess, I wasn’t direct enough? Go away!!”
“I told you to get lost! And don’t you dare show up here again!”
“The gods! Are you really that determined, or just plain stupid? Don’t let me catch you here again, I’m warning you!”
“I get the feeling you don’t understand! Beat it, or I’ll beat you - black and blue!”
“Good work takes time, folk! Give me some more of it.”
“You want quality, don’t you? Well, give me the time I need, then!”
“I’m a craftsman, not a factory! You’ll just have to be patient.”
“Hold your horses, folks. A good job takes time. That’s what my father said, and he was known for a good job.”
“Do you want me to douse your lights?”
“Ingerimm! My patience is at an end!”
“Oh no! It’s gone far enough!”
“You’ll regret this! Your mother never told you to let sleeping dogs lie, did she?”
“Yes, a reputation does have its advantages. You get to hear a lot of things about places I’ve never seen myself. You are travelling? You might appreciate some advice.”
“Yes, sure. And there are advantages to it. People tell you about their worries, and sometimes there’s a nugget of advice in there. Maybe I can help you with that.”
“Quite right. It can be a real help to have people confide in you, but I’m always willing to share some knowledge with courteous travelers.”
“That’s true, but I won’t use all the advantages just for myself. It pleases the gods to help travelers with your knowledge, and I hear a lot about what’s going on around here.”
“Do you know Hyggelik?”
“Hig-a-lick? Whazzat? Some kind of children’s game?”
“Don’t play dumb with us!”
“No, Hyggelik! The pirate!”
“Don’t play stupid! We know you know him!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Never heard of him.”
“What was that name again?”
“Three guesses.”
“Nothing, nothing. So, do you know Hyggelik?”
“He couldn’t possibly know anything.”
“Of course you have!”
“Come on, think!”
“Forget it.”
“You heard us all right. Where is he?”
“Still Hyggelik.”
“Hyggelik, do I pronounce it that badly?”
“Nah, never heard of him. What do you want?”
“You take me for stupid, do you? You think you can take me on, do you? I’ll show you!”
“Well, want to take a tour of my cellars again?”
“No, thanks!”
“Yup, that’s why we came!”
“Probably all for the best. What can I do you for, friend?”
“Honestly?
well, step this way please.”
“We want to get some decent weapons.”
“You’ve come to the right man!
and since we know each other, I’ll make you a special offer! Let’s see what you’ve got - I’ll improve it!”