Innkeeper
The “Green horseshoe” is full of customers. At first, nobody seems to notice you, but after a while someone asks:
“You come here to stare or to drink? You must be new around here.”
“A real thinker, you are.”
“How can you tell?”
“So we are.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I take it back.”
“Don’t worry, only compared to your mates.”
“It’s a compliment, honest!”
“Well, you’re not drinking, you’re not talking to anybody, and you look lost to boot.”
“Hey, I don’t drink with just anybody!”
“Thank you, but we can manage.”
“I have to admit, we’ve only just arrived.”
“And what flag are you sailing under?”
“That’s our own business.”
“We’re still waiting for offers.”
“Only our own.”
“We’re going to cure you of that big mouth! Up and at them, boys’n’girls!”
“You’re brave, I have to admit that!”
“Too brave for your refined company.”
“Do I detect a note of jealousy?”
“Not that brave, really.”
“You seem set to have had your courage dampened a little. Well, they won’t have to ask us again, do they, folks?”
“In that case, get lost. We can’t use anyone who’s not willing to follow orders, can we, captain?”
Sailmaker
In the middle of a big room, a man is sitting at a table working on a piece of sailcloth.
When you enter, he barely looks at you before he snarls: “I won’t be employing anyone till the end of the month.”
“Let’s have some respect here!”
“End of what month? The way you’re working…”
“Beg pardon, but the store foreman sent us.”
“What is it with you?”
“Could you believe we’re dangerous?”
“If you don’t know, who does?” Calm down, the store foreman sent us.”
“The foreman can go take a running jump. You tell him that!”
“One more reason to give you a beating now.”
“Whatever you say, gramps.”
“Don’t be a fool, my man.”
“Couldn’t we avoid that?”
“Get out then! I don’t want anything to do with that devil.”
“Big words for a lowly tailor.”
“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, man.”
“I thought he was your superior?”
“I’m getting a mighty urge to beat you lot black and blue!”
“I’ll show you what I think of the foreman and his boot lickers!”
“You’ve made enough trouble here, keeping me from my work and all.
Get out, before I turn nasty.”
A whore
The entry hall of the building reeks of cheap perfume. An imposing lady comes up to you and barks:
“We don’t want anybody like you around here.”
“Neither do we.”
“You think our bucks stink as bad as this place?”
“You must be joking!”
“Good, we’re seeing eye to eye then. Get moving. The faster the better.”
“Your money stinks, you stink, and neither my girls nor my till would get any pleasure from associating with you.”
“We could be quite unpleasant, though!”
“You don’t mince words, do you?”
“But we’re customers just like anybody else!”
“You want to know what’s a joke? Weenies like you lot walking around free and alive!”
“And you don’t look dead… yet.”
“You ain’t gonna entice any customers that way.”
“That’s enough. Let’s go.”
“Even so I don’t seem to be getting through to you. You’re still standing around here, scaring away valuable customers. Beat it, before I have your necks broken!”
“You’re not like anybody else around here, ‘cause they’ve got guts, nor are you customers, at least not at my place. Did you get that, or do I have to carve it on your chests?”
“That’s enough. Get them, girls!”
“There won’t be any customers while you are stinking up my entrance hall. And since you don’t seem prepared to leave, I guess we’ll have to help you along.
dear ladies, do away with these runny-nosed weenies. But hurry, and watch out you don’t get blood on the carpet.”