[Hero] seems to have had one too many!
Do you want to:
[N]beer, please!
A bit to eat.
“Right away!” says and walks over to the bar to get your beer.
It’s not exactly a meal fit for a king, but what you do get tastes good and is quite filling to boot.
“Customers Served from the Beginning of the Fifth Hour After Noon to the End of the Third Hour of Night”
That’s what it says on a sign next to the door.
The tavern is definitely starting to fill up. You make room at the bar and sit down at one of the tables, next to another customer.
You sit down next to one of the other customers. From the looks of him, the fellow sitting opposite you seems to have emptied a considerable number of tankards already. His eyes are just a little bit completely glazed and his pronunciation is less than perfect, when you try to start a conversation:
“Hi’mmmh… hi, oops… shee, hi’mman alchi-al-chi-misht by tarade… hi breuw th-th-sings… but th-sis… hi, oops… shis breuw… h-h-h’I shay!”
“Praios… sees everything! Put your… faith… in HIM!”
“Hey, here’s something else: Yesterday, I saw this dwarf, who had to break in a donkey, ‘cause he’d lost a bet - the dwarf, that is, not the donkey. So he puts up a ladder, jumps down - the dwarf, you see - GRABS hold of the tail - the donkey’s, you see - and dies, jus’ like that. - No, not like that, like that!”
“Praishe Praiosh, shat you’re ashking ME, my shon. Caushe I’m she ONLY one - psht! - she only one, shou hear? She only one who knowhs shere ISH no anshwer to shat!”
“By the Fields of Alveran! Ask me something else - (burrp)!”
“Rastullah’s beard, now THAT’s one interretesteting question now! I’ve always wanted just such a question, now, YES!! What j-joy! That calls for a celeleBERATION, now, YES!!”
“Hold it, pal-o-mine! Can you see what I’m seeing? Heads up, the w-wood nymphs: T-timber…!” (Crash.)
“Lead me not into temptation, faithlessly to neglect my true and trusted beaker of wine, and dry my mouth out satisfying your idle curiosity!”
“H-ask me again when you’re able to… s-stand up straight!”
“You iss more of a bother than what a REvenant iss!”
“Tha’sh shomething me gran’father on me mother’s shide didn’t not know either! But sheeing it’s YOU: Wh-why don’t you ashk me gran’father on me father’s shide! (…) Nay, leave it be: ‘sh too late!”
“WHA…? Can’t you speak up? I can’t understand a word with you whispering like that!”
“N-no c-comment!”
“Between you and me: There are some that smell worse than orcs!”
“And r-right away I go s-search m-m-my mi-mind for an… an an-answer… and - I don’t find one. So, so… depressing! Can you buy me another… consolation?”
“He came on no camel, saw, and asked one question. And I’m already here, look into my tankard, and keep mum - HICK!”
“We’s gonna let the B-bornbear dance now, we is, and ballab… ballab until we’s all rhet-rhet- HICK - rhetoricianians!”
“Hihihi! Sorry, I don’t mean y-you! I just - just heard this sto-story about a dwa-dwarf who had to - hihihi - BREAK IN - hoohohoho! - a DONKEY, HAHAHAHAHA!!!”
(Wheeze.)
“Air! I can’t, can’t… breathe…!”
“No… no problem! Abso… absolutely not. Just a ques… question of ha… having a quali… qualified source of Infor… mation.”
“Shertainly, pal! Jusht one quesh… queshtion I wanna ashk you:
Wh-when wash the lasht t-time you… ate She-shelem Shou-shourbread?”